SPORK SPORK SPORK!!!

Those of you practicing due diligence in healing the earth are invited to:
1. Watch this video (thank you and thank you).

2. "Be saddened" and "regret" the harsh climate effects of personal aircraft. Propose Gen-Con 2009 legislation mandating that all private aircraft owned or hired by TEC serve comestibles that can be sporked. Mandate said aircraft offer sporks as the only choice of eating utensil.

3. Get sporked.
3a. I wonder if I'll ever merit a spork on my coat of arms?
3b. "Spork" is almost as fun to say as Plump Pea Dumplings, especially if you eat spam with a spork.
3c. Buy reusable titanium sporks at Amazon, there are LOTS to choose from.
3d. Find anyone who can take you seriously when you take sporks seriously.
3e. Product brand a spork. Years ago I discovered the pun "Ang'lican Good". The time has come to trademark and sell the lickable, re-lickable Ang'lickin' Good Spork. I am "saddened" and "regret" the unfortunate necessity of the term "Anglican" for said pun.

4. Don't poke fun at such serious subjects.

Meanwhile, back at the Easter Ranch...

The Good News of Easter is that we eat too much hamburger and are drowning the impoverished of the South Pacific.


No, really.

The atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ through his incarnation, death, and resurrection is such a gas. Apparently.

Containment: Released by Los Angeles

Ordinarily (ordainarily?) I do my best to keep this space away from goings on in my own life. It now appears necessary to suspend that practice. I am the center of a disagreement that has gone public and become blog-worthy in the eyes of some.

I don't wish to overplay what is happening. I think it a minor thing in the grand scheme of current issues. But since it got picked up by a credible Episcopal blogger I offer you the facts and my perspective, hopefully before this gets distorted, exaggerated, and worthy of David Virtue, Fr. Jake, and whoever else out there wants to take a shot at me or the Bishop of Los Angeles.

Since 2004 I have been a Postulant for Holy Orders in the Episcopal Diocese of Los Angeles. +Jon Bruno has supported my vocation with personal and financial generosity. I am finishing my last year at Nashotah House where the bishop was pleased to let me attend. In mid-October my Candidacy interviews took place with the LA Commission on Ministry. The CoM did not recommend me for Candidacy or ordination, and the bishop thus did not recommend me for Candidacy to the Standing Committee. By the bishop's written notice I am released from any obligation to the diocese.

Those are the facts.

Before I become anyone's whipping boy or sacrificial lamb I wish to state the following:

• +Jon Bruno is a discerning man who has on multiple occasions given me extremely good advice on spiritual and practical matters. I have great respect for him and his office - an office he has held under significant duress and personal attack from almost every side. I have been given no reason to doubt that his discernment about this matter is more perceptive than my own and that he has made the best decision for all affected.

• There are important facts about this matter that are confidential. Charity and discretion command that private concerns between myself, the bishop, and my rector remain private. THE WHOLE STORY HAS NOT BEEN TOLD. And I will not blab it. Those who have rushed to judge are ignorant of important and private matters.

• The FACT is that I have been released from Los Angeles as unsuited to serve in that diocese. Do not interpret this as condemnation of my vocation or an official diocesan antipathy towards orthodoxy. Many are presuming these are inextricable. Give +Bruno his due and take him at his word. With charity.

• Again, it is my express wish that I not become fodder for speculation or uncharity.

Brad Drell has blogged the contents of my public email about what happened and he has picked up some hot comments. I am also asking that he update his post with the contents here.

And finally I ask that the matter now be let to rest. Instead of wasting electrons on me, maybe you could go tell someone about the atoning work of Jesus Christ through his incarnation, death, and resurrection. An awful lot still don't know about this.

Have I mentioned my explicit personal wish that this matter be treated with charity?

IT LIVES!!! John Scott and St. Paul's win 5 hedons

Today at la House an honorary D.Mus was conferred on John Scott, the Organist and Director of Music at St. Thomas 5th Ave.




Dr. Scott mentioned in passing conversation that while he was organist at St. Paul's London they undertook the recording of THE ENTIRE COVERDALE PSALTER IN ANGLICAN CHANT.





I haven't heard the recording yet but I hereby grant it a pre-emptive 5 hedons* solely for the nature of the project.



And the recording is available at Amazon no less! I'm in the middle of a project on the psalter so the recording came right out of my book "budget". Hurrah.

Run out and get this in order to support Coverdale, Anglican Chant, St. Paul's, John Scott, and Your Immortal Soul.


*The hedonometer has lapsed as of late. For those who do not recall, I reserve the inalienable right to review animals, minerals, and vegetables and assign a score ranging from -5 to 5. To score a 5 usually means you wrote a poem and your last name is Alighieri.

De Gustibus Est Disputandum

Apparently, it should be disputed about taste.

http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/archives/008320.php


Pip pip to somebody's blog who I have now lost.

Heroes and Priests

Within a 12-hour window I finished watching Tim Kring’s Heroes and attended the ordination of a Son of the House.

Conclusion: Materialist Hero Constructs are inferior to any hero constructs that acknowledge the reality of metaphysics.

“Huh?”

I thought you’d say that. See my forthcoming Heroes review.

But congrats to the new Fr. H, a real hero.

White Whale of Breviaries, 5 Hedons

Do you remember painful joy of learning the splendourof Microsoft Excel? Hours and hours spent perfecting data organization and presentation, formulas that make you cry for happiness, discovering keyboard shortcuts that even the guys working in development don't know, remember that agony and ecstasy?

You don't remember that? Well, I do. I'm not compulsively left brained (usually) but when it comes to keeping track of everything exactly so, nothing beats a perfect (and I do mean Perfect) spreadsheet where there is a precise place for everything and everything precisely in its place. If you can relate to that I have the prayer book for you.


I have posted previously about the revived Anglican Breviary. Summer being here I have started using it, or trying to use it at least. My impression? Harpooning Moby Dick might be easier than mastering this summa of devotionals. I go to the spikiest Episcopal seminary and this breviary has got me flailing. But! It's the kind of flailing that leaves me sore and begging for more.

Can you man* up and sort out your own II Class Double conflict with a 3rd rank Octave for this solar day and lunar season?

Can you pound in the appropriate antiphon, nocturn(s), and versicle?

Can you pick and roll lessons and slam dunk them from outside the paint (I mean liturgical color)?

Can you do it 8 times a day?

Well, I can't. But I'm having fun trying and learning. I can't walk into the saloon (or chapel) and pony up to the bar (or rail) with the swagger that says "I pray bigger than you." I probably never will. But it sure is satisfying to try.

Sound good? This is the breviary for you, as attested with reassuring ecumenical latitude.

5 Hedons for a bound volume that is (for my money) as good as English devotion gets.
---

*Or woman up, I'm not biased and neither is the breviary.

More Breviary

The Reverend Canon David Baumann, sometime rector, sensei, and friend, has published a robust expanded daily office. Here it is.

My copy is on the way. I suggest that you buy one. Or 50.

-MWS

Why dialogue?

Previously I posted that Anglican dialogue is impossible.

Probably it gets stickier. Someone I am unable to contact asserted to me that belief is a matter of heart commitment and must not be confused with assent to doctrine. Marcus Borg is the cited authority. Apparently heart-yeas are very Greek, very Latin, and very modern. I've survived a respectable dose of Classics and the suggestion in that context is new to me. I'm hoping to scope out Borg in the liberry tomorrow.

(If my last name was Borg I wouldn't be working up anhistorical Jesii, I'd be doing my best to prove how futile resistance really is, but that's a separate subject.)

I don't get to have many real conversations about such Borgish subjects. I disagree with my reparteer. Per my understanding we would be not only reduced to duelling with nerf-sabres but duelling without reason or a reason, and conflict cannot be resolved.

If that all seems esoteric but you still read this far (probably having legitimately rolled your eyes several times), I'm hoping only to draw out the one I want to talk with. There is a small chance s/he has clicked to here. Follow up would be great but not in an endless comment thread.

Episcopal Ringtone?

On the frivolousest of whims I put Google ads on this site. To date I have not received a single ad hit that I am aware of, which I think is hilarious. At least the ads have stopped being for equine veterinary supplies.

Today the ad was for an Episcopal Ringtone from RingRingMobile.com. I am contractually bounden to not click on my own ads so I can't find out what this is.

What would an Episcopal ringtone be? There must be a billion hilarious answers to this question.

Do we have a fight song? A peace song?

Could Nashotah House make bank selling a ringtone of our anthem? Our fight song?

Would a good Anglo-Catholic cell emit incense as it rings?

Would a low church phone just sit there even if it was ringing?

I smell the nicheiest of markets.

Commonality?

Notable effort to find common ground going on here. Of course be sure to read, mark, and inwardly digest all the hollering going on in comments.

Watterson says a good compromise leaves everyone unhappy. Or is it angry? What is the Turabian format for citing a cartoon? I wonder if I have ADD?

I am reminded of this joke (at the end of the article).

Episcopal Red Herring

Katharine Jefferts Schori says recent controversies aren't dividing TEC. She has said it before.

I may not have learned much in undergrad philosophy classes but the fallacy of the Red Herring did stick.

Apparently the global Anglican fuss doesn't represent dissension. Apparently we're only counting based on the number of churches upset enough to depart TEC. Apparently everyone who is not Anglican but is upset has failed to appreciate how special we are.

I'm Episcopal. I'm grateful to be Episcopal. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be Episcopal. A fellow student recently homilized that the Episcopal church is a sleeping beauty, but only the kiss of her Bridegroom will awaken her.

Maybe at the moment she ain't all that kissable.

Anyone who thinks we're entirely better for the last decades of the Episcopal Church has a lot of explaining to do. Anyone who says TEC is alive and kicking instead of down and flailing is wearing rosier-coloured glasses than I.

What is it for KJS to say the church is in a better place claiming blessings and affirming lives? That's a red herring. Attendance is down, giving is down, the message is watered down. I hear we're projected to be a dead entity within my lifetime. Let's just stop for a moment to clap our hands and say that we do believe in TEC.

I'm tired of hearing us tell ourselves just how special we are.

Until we as a Church penitently proclaim the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ through his incarnation, death, and resurrection we're screwed.

I really can't imagine a better time to be Episcopal. The opportunities are enormous, the fields are white for the harvest. My generation of Anglicans can affect millions of people. Or almost none at all.

Tippity tip to T19 for the article.

Dude! The Anglican Breviary Rides Again!

I wonder how many of my posts start with "Dude!"? I wonder if I have ADD? Hey, look, a bunny rabbit! I'm hungry.

I guess this isn't new, but the Anglican Breviary, last published in 1955 is available now. I did order one, stay tuned for an actual review. I am most excited though. Coverdale and King Jimmy and the rubrics all under one roof (I mean binding)!

Buy it here.

I tip the biretta I do not own to T19 for the link to Mere Comments.

Episcopal dialogue isn't really

The Very Reverend Philip Turner is Dean and President of the Episcopal Seminary of the Southwest. Recently he was at Nashotah House and gave what I thought an exacting and constructive assessment of the current Episcopal Hullaballoo.

I have perceived on multiple occasions that on both sides of the conflictagration there is an abusive appeal to the working of the Holy Spirit. Arguing God onto your side is very popular. And I find it upsetting since I don't think there is always careful discernment about making such claims.

During Q&A I asked Rev. Dr. Dr. Dr. Turner what he makes of this issue. I asked from a perspective of muddle but his answer was piercing. He said that Episcopalians, both lay and ordained, do not have any sort of training that facilitates a reasoned method of dialogue and debate. We are simply incapable of understanding each other because formal propositional discourse is impossible for the reparteers.

So, when people can't understand each other, the recourse is to emotional overture and appeal to power. In this context it is of course helpful to make sure that God is on your side. I think that insight is as perceptive as it is frightening.

I remember as a college freshman hearing a devotional before a class. The moral was that we should never seek to see if God is on our side, but rather if we are on God's side. Manipulating the supernatural for our own ends is witchcraft, and the professor averred that in our present day and age there are probably more Christian witches than any other kind. There's a thought to take penitently into Holy Week.